A new page in the life of Danny.

Well guys it has been a lasy month for me, now it is time to get back into it and really start getting this weight off.

Over the last month exercise has taken a back seat, and I have gain a kg again, so it is time to start walking home from work, this is up to a 5 km walk, then I will try to go for a walk run around the block at 7.30pm, which is up to 6 kms round trip. I am going to go swimming for 30 mins every morning, then there is a bush walk here in Cairns called the red arrow so I will do three laps of that, twice a week.

I have also trying to low my blood pressure with high dosage of vit. C and L-lysine, don't worry there is no toxic levels for either, and if you take to much then your body just pisses the excess out of the body, no harm done. Better to be pissing vit. C then taking blood pressure pills for the rest of my life.

Well guys, I better go and get read, I have a session at the pool this morning before work.

What to do?

Well guys!

Since being on here, the doctor has up graded me, and has made me fit to go to sea, but only if there is a medic on board as well, so this means that there is still no chance for me to go to sea while I am here in Cairns, as all the positions for AB cooks are filled.

Told my boss that if there is no chance for me to be on a ship in the next six months, then I may as well be somewhere where I can get onto a major warship. Yep looking at moving again.

I do miss Sydney, but I might try something different.

I got an email this week, asking for AB cooks to work on the training ship back down at HMAS Cerberus, (for those who don't know thats near Melbourne, VIC), I think I will put my name forward to the position.

This means that I will have to deal with recruits, (let's hope the naughty ones are cute and I have to punish them....).

Will have to get on the net and see what happens in Melbourne, as in the gay community. I know of the laird, and that is fun.

I think I have made up my mind....... I will put my name down for the job tomorrow and see how I go, if it is meant to be then it will happen.

Hey Dan. Really proud of you, keep it up,you can do it, and hopefully u will be flying this way soon.

I am much better now....

Hi there,

Well as you have read, I was really depressed last time that I was on here.

Well I have improved over the past weeks.

1st off let me just say this......... I have so many wonderful friends, not only here in Cairns but , back down in Sydney, even in Canada, and traveling overseas, and now, in the UK, (No I wasn't going to forget you Dan, how's your training going????)

I have had a "life changing" experience on the weekend of the 21st and 22nd October. I went to the Psychic Expo here in Cairns, and I met a wonderful lady call Wanda Shipton, and what this amazing person did for me, was to draw my life guide.

My life guide is a medicine man from an Indian tribe, and his name is Wolf Whisper Spirit. and for the past week I have been feeling him guiding me in the right direction.

I have also started to study the "The Secret"' which is about the law of attraction. Basically what you desire, and let you thoughts go with your desire then there is NOTHING stopping you from having what you desire.

So I have change my way of thinking, I now think of myself as that fit hunk of a guy, and I know that, that will happen. I have started to think that I will be promoted in 6 mths, and I know that will happen.

I have tried the law out today, and it works......

All day today I had positive thoughts, about myself, work and my work mates, and nothing bad happen today, nothing negative.

So my biggest task is this Friday. I have to go to the doctors, and be weighed again, and I know this time He will let me go to sea.

So for all of you out there, sent some positive energy my way..........

I have come down in weight, I was 101kgs about 6 weeks ago, now I am 94kgs, still along way to go, but at least it is a start.

I have been promising a friend I would let her know how great full I am to her.

Sarah, I don't think I would have a easier time on the last ship I was on, (HMAS Labuan), without working under you on HMAS Melbourne.

On Melbourne you did teach me a thing or two, even though we lock horns more times then not.

I took the galley on Labuan from something that even a health inspector would have walked out of, and made it a galley to be proud of.

The CO and the XO was so pleased with what I did that they gave me a glowing report, and they wanted me to stay on, with the CO saying he was going to push to have me promoted. BUT I was made mec 301 for being fat.

Any way time to go and go for a walk/run around the block..

Chat to all of you soon.

If anyone asks..... I say......

If you were to ask me today, what did I think of the navy. I would tell you, "it FUCKING SUCKS."

If you have not already guessed, I am slightly depressed today.

When did the depression today start? Around about lunch time.

I was joking around at work, by putting the next rank up from mine, on my shoulders, saying "Wow they look good on me", thats when my PO, (supervisor), said "Not for at least 5 yrs". And as most of you know I have been wanting to be promoted, had my heart set on it..... Well I guess I have finally worked it out.......... NEVER set my heart on anything, hopefully by not setting my heart on anything, it will not be broken so much......(LOL, I laugh coz I always believed I had a heart of stone).

You might be wondering what things have I been setting my heart on, well I will tell you.

*promotion
*travel, (go over to the gulf)
*nice things
*money
*own my own home (or 5)
*partner, just to name a few.

Sorry if I am bring you guys down but it is the way I am feeling ATM.

So what else is getting me down..... my weight, I have seem to hit a slow point, I will have up my training. How is the weight lost going? I hear u ask.......

Well since the last time I wrote on here, I have gotten down to 94.5ish, but have 2 weeks to get at least down to 90kgs, then I will be able to go to sea again. I have been told if the weight is off in two weeks, I could be going to sea for a couple of weeks just before Christmas, then in the new yr I will be put into my own galley by myself, so looking forward to that.

Ok guys....time for this little black to go to bed.

Night all,

Chat soon.

The skinner me.

Well it has been almost one month since the doctor told me that I was to fat.

And I have tried a couple of ways to get rid of the fat.

Xenical, mmmmmm this didn't work for me, I put weight on with it. How it works is you have the pill with food, and the chemicals blocks your body from taking in the fat. So if you have fish and chips, or any fast food, you shit bright orange oil not good when your uniform is white.

So I have been on the Tony Ferguson diet for the past two weeks and I have lost 4kgs, I was 101kgs, now down to a slim 97kgs, I am losing around 2kgs a week. At this rate, in 9 weeks I will be a nice 79kgs, then all I have to do is keep it there.

I am still enjoying Cairns life, even if there is NO gay club to go to.

I am learning about the paperwork, that I need to know for my promotion, even though I am not holding my breath for it any more.

There is some paperwork, that I have to fill out to say that I plan to stay in the navy after my 4 years, because I haven't filled it out, my records reads that I am discharging. Might be a way to get my promotion.

Any way thats about it from me.

See ya soon.

That ugly "f" word......

Yep.... That Ugly "F" word has reappeared.

I had to go to the doctors on Thursday, and he has made me Unfit for sea, which means I can not go out on a boat until I lose weight, Yep the "F" word is FAT.

I have reached the 100kg mark. I want to get back down to atlease 85kg, but for now I need to lose 5 to 6 kgs and keep it off for 2 mths and then I will be able to go back to sea, which will be April now, as all the ships up here have the cooks they need.

Now I will be able to get down to the weight I want before then.

I will have to find a gym, and start getting back into it.

Other news, I just spent 3 weeks out at sea, and loved been back in a kitchen, what can I say, I love cooking, and just want to do that.

Cairns life.....

I am loving Cairns, settling in really quickly.

Just moved into my own flat.

Work is really good, doing things that I need to do for my promotion.

They are putting me on a ship for a month to see how I go, it is not one of the ships I want, but there is no other cooks in the navy at the moment the is able to take the ship.

I will be the only cook on the ship. So that is scaring the ship out of me.

I better get going i have a friends party to go to...

Chat soon.

It's time to go.........

I can't believe that this Friday (22nd June) I will be back in Cairns.

I am looking forward to all that is going to happen over the next 12mths, but most of all the next 3 to 6 mths.

I have a plan of attack in my mind of what I want to happen.

For the 1st 3 mths I am thinking I would like to stay on land, so that I can get fit and so that I can do some courses that will help me get my promotion.

Then after 3mths, will get onto a ship and do my best.

This could all change when I get up there, because the navy being navy, nothing is set in concrete.

But I will look forward to what ever the navy throws at me.

I am also looking forward to catching up with my mates up there.

I better go and try to do some more packing.

Time is running out.

I can't believe that it has been already 4 weeks since I had been told about my transfer to Cairns.

Now it is only 8 weeks away.

I am looking forward to it.

I had a chat to my DSO (2nd in charge of me), and she use to work in the office that I am going to, she told me some of the jobs that I could be doing.

But the big plus for me is, I'll be back in a town that I love and I have some great friends up there.

I also have great friends here in Sydney, but Sydney life makes it hard to catch up with every one.

Time for some news

Ok.... some of you will be upset by the news......

I have be told that I will be transfered to Cairns on the 25th June this yr.

Help.

I am going to get a tee shirt printed......

I need ideas on how to finish this sentance.

"It's fun and games until Grandma.........."


I have "Finds her teeth."

Just some news.

NO I haven't found out what is happening with me and work yet.

I was meant to go to work on monday, but on sunday avo, I was putting on my shoes to go to the bar, when I hurt my back.

Just got out hospital.

So I will be going to work tomorrow, so hopefully I will find out tomorrow.....

Stay turned.

Lessons from Mardi Gras and Bear Essentials.

Lesson 1. Shyness.

Shyness is my biggest fault. So many times did I find guys so hot, but I was to shy even to say Hi.

Lesson 2. Fear.

Scared that if I did get over my shyness, and went and said hi. They would tell me to fuck off, or not even say hi back.

Lesson 3. I am not everyone's cup of tea.

I have found out this week that I am either too big or too small. And there is no one out there for someone who is neither. Being stuck in the middle of the two worlds. Not a cub. Not a bear.

Lesson 4. Not everyone is my cup of tea.

Some of the guys who did come to me and started chatting to me, were nice guys, but not my type. Isn't it funny how we set standards WAY to high. Yep even me. The type of guys who I like are muscle men, Muscle bears brings me to my knees.

So what have learnt.....

Just to be myself, who cares if someone doesn't like me.
Lower my standards alittle.
And just be happy.

Catch up time

Sence the last post a lot has happen.

The ship that I am on, HMAS Melbourne, has gone to sea for the 1st time in 14mths. I had enjoyed being at sea, even though I was the night cook, got hardly any sleep, but loved it.

Anyway on thursday, I went to see my Career Manager, and there is three paths set out before me.

Stay on Melbourne till the end of the end year, then be posted off.
Stay on Melbourne for 4 mths then go somewhere, depending on where the navy needs me.
Or move to Cairns, and work on the patrol boats for a yr or more.

So I have no idea what to do....

Oh well will have to wait for tomorrow.

What a great day......

Never in my life had I ever expected to be able to do this again.........

Ray, you are amazing person. giving and unselfish.

Once again, Ray has let me play with his kids, and how can you not love these animals.

This time, Ray had two 8 week old lion cubs called Amy and Ethan, what amazing animals they are, both have different personalities.

Amy, she loves the attention, but Ethan is a little shy.

I have pictures of Amy climbing all over me. It still brings a smile to my face.

Learning.....

One of the things that I have promise myself this year, is to learn more.

And one of the things I want to teach myself, is how to make the most out of my blog. As you can see it is VERY basic, I want to added a picture of myself, add a photo ablum, all in all, jazz it up abit.

I also going to teach myself the art of archery, 3D, it is something that I have wanted to do for over a year. I have the compound bow, just need to get some new arrows, then go to some beginners class. I have been thinking of going camping with some mates and just get use to the bow, But both of them have gone to sea, yes they are in the navy aswell.

Anyway, Here I am, sitting in Brisbane Airport, just about to fly to Cairns for a couple of days.
Tomorrow I have to go and visit my brother, as one of his sons got married today. He is very upset with us, (his other brothers and sisters), for not going to the wedding, but what are we to do, we live over 2500kms away. If they keep the wedding date in August, then they would have more of us going. SHIT happens I say.

My really good friend in Cairns, has just finished a IT course, maybe I should get him to show me what photo program to buy, and how to use it.

I have been chatting to this guy online and he does this artwork, with photos and computers, don't really know the name of it, but what I have seen I am keen to give it ago.

With work, I am going to start standing up for myself, lately I have just let people walk all over me. This is one of the reasons why I have taken this break short notice.

I REALLY want to go to the gulf this year, sitting dry dock for a year has done my head in, I am sick of not doing anything or not going anywhere. It is NOT what I joined up to do, I joined to travel, to see the world, to do what I have been trained to do.

OK I better get off this soap box, before I fall off it.

Cya soon.
Dan the MAN.

Another year GONE.

Well thats a wrap on 2006.

Didn't go anywhere,
Didn't do anything for great importance,
Didn't find anyone,
Didn't put on anymore weight, (Thats a good thing.)
Didn't save for my holiday,
Didn't move out of the navy base,
Didn't keep most promises, (Thats a bad thing.)

Yep 2006 was a year of "Didn't".

So this Year, I'm going to make it a year of "Did that"

Just some of the things I want to do this coming year.

*Get on a ship that is going somewhere and doing something,
*Get promoted,
*Get rid of this gut of mine,
*Get to know more people,
*Get my ass into gear and save for this holiday of mine.

My biggest plan for 2007 is this trip of mine.

A round the world trip, starting here in Sydney then Hawaii, San Fran, Vancouver, New York, London, Paris, Hong Kong, Cairns then back to Sydney.

I am also going to take up archery, already got the bow, just waiting to see when the beginners classes start.

This year I am going to become better at my job, and show that I am ready to be promoted, BUT i want to go over to the gulf before that promotion.

One other aim for this year is to get a metal, (gong). Starting to feel left out.

Thinking of marching in my home town for ANZAC Day.

Anyway....... Better go,

HAPPY NEW YEAR......

BAD NEWS

I just found out...... the only person on the ship, that I really care about.........is leaving.

So this puts me in a postion of not knowing what I want to do.

So many choices for me.

Stay where I am...

Move back to Cairns....

Move to Melbourne...

Move to Perth.....


All I know is that I want to go over to the gulf, and be promoted next yr.......

The BIG question ........ WHY?

WHY???????

Why does EVERYTHING I plan goes to shit?

Why do I care anymore?

Why is the sky blue?

Why is gay sex a pain in the ass?

Why am I the only gay guy to NOT like Kylie?

Why do I even care about my work mates?

Why Why Why WHY?

Just SOME of the questions going around in my head.

Let's try to answer some here.

HHHHMMMMM it is going to be harder then I think....

Ok, I think why everything goes to shit is coz I am good at having the idea, but find it hard to keep the movation going to see it to the next stage, eg, today was the first day for a new group to start up n sydney, for the defence personnel that is gay. I had 6 people say the would like to come to the movies with me.

NO ONE turned up.....

I tried, but beacuse of what is happening at work, (long story to follow), I had to change the date, close to last minute, but I have the guys a chance, and they said they were happy with the change.......... SO WHY DID NO-ONE TURNED UP?

DO I CARE???????

Next question.....

WHY don't I care?

I don't care anymore coz this heart of my has started to turn to stone, cold and lifeless.

I have to go to work tomorrow where there is a girl, who has passed the cooks course for the navy, YET she still asks the most basic questions, questions that someone who has NEVER cooked before would know. If I was a head chef in a resturant in the real world, I would say she would not have a job with me, and I would tell her to NEVER cook again. She has duty tomorrow, which means that she has to prepare the next days meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner, one of the other cooks wants me to help her, but I say, where was the help when I joined. Just because I was a chef before I joined, doesn't mean I know everything NAVY.

Why don't I like Kylie?

I just DON'T.

Work mates...

There is only ONE person in the kitchen at work that I care about..... A lady with a heart of GOLD, hence WE call her MUM.

Mum will do anything for anyone, she willgo out of her way just to help you, even if it puts her behind in her work.

One thing I will be doing this year....... is to make sure that I don't add to her work load, I will go out of my way to try to make it easier for her.....

Love ya Mum.

She would have to be the one of the only people I really care about on the ship.

13th Sept 2006

Yes I know it has been a long time.

I got alittle busy with life.

Well sence the last time we have chatted , I have managed to lose the weight to go to sea, I am now a nice 89kgs, and people are noticing it even more, (time for new photos for the profiles).

The ship I'm on is still in refit, and we are looking at sailing in December. Next year is going to be abit full on, with HMAS Melbourne doing weekly runs, then a Christmas Island trip.

I am now focused on getting my weight down to 79kgs or less, and getting promoted as soon as I can, looking at june/july next yr, I am hoping that this will get me onto a diferent ship. One that might be going to the gulf.

Wednesday, 9th August

Well, my trip as come to end.

And I am paying for it, as I walked along the beach yesterday, walked about 5 to 10 kms with just a singlet on, so I am burnt on back of my neck, on my shoulders and on the back of my legs, but atlease I will be tanned.

But I have had a great time up here, Thanks to Ray and to his "KIDS", Thank you for the pics and hopefully I would like to do it again, BTW the kids are three 6 months old loin cubs.

And always thanks to my really good friends Rob, Graham and Gordie, these three are my reason for going up to Cairns.

I am not sure when I will able to come back up here, as I am trying to save my holidays to go overseas. But I hope I can get the long weekends off to go up to visit, atlease this way I don't lose to much off my holidays.