I am much better now....

Hi there,

Well as you have read, I was really depressed last time that I was on here.

Well I have improved over the past weeks.

1st off let me just say this......... I have so many wonderful friends, not only here in Cairns but , back down in Sydney, even in Canada, and traveling overseas, and now, in the UK, (No I wasn't going to forget you Dan, how's your training going????)

I have had a "life changing" experience on the weekend of the 21st and 22nd October. I went to the Psychic Expo here in Cairns, and I met a wonderful lady call Wanda Shipton, and what this amazing person did for me, was to draw my life guide.

My life guide is a medicine man from an Indian tribe, and his name is Wolf Whisper Spirit. and for the past week I have been feeling him guiding me in the right direction.

I have also started to study the "The Secret"' which is about the law of attraction. Basically what you desire, and let you thoughts go with your desire then there is NOTHING stopping you from having what you desire.

So I have change my way of thinking, I now think of myself as that fit hunk of a guy, and I know that, that will happen. I have started to think that I will be promoted in 6 mths, and I know that will happen.

I have tried the law out today, and it works......

All day today I had positive thoughts, about myself, work and my work mates, and nothing bad happen today, nothing negative.

So my biggest task is this Friday. I have to go to the doctors, and be weighed again, and I know this time He will let me go to sea.

So for all of you out there, sent some positive energy my way..........

I have come down in weight, I was 101kgs about 6 weeks ago, now I am 94kgs, still along way to go, but at least it is a start.

I have been promising a friend I would let her know how great full I am to her.

Sarah, I don't think I would have a easier time on the last ship I was on, (HMAS Labuan), without working under you on HMAS Melbourne.

On Melbourne you did teach me a thing or two, even though we lock horns more times then not.

I took the galley on Labuan from something that even a health inspector would have walked out of, and made it a galley to be proud of.

The CO and the XO was so pleased with what I did that they gave me a glowing report, and they wanted me to stay on, with the CO saying he was going to push to have me promoted. BUT I was made mec 301 for being fat.

Any way time to go and go for a walk/run around the block..

Chat to all of you soon.

If anyone asks..... I say......

If you were to ask me today, what did I think of the navy. I would tell you, "it FUCKING SUCKS."

If you have not already guessed, I am slightly depressed today.

When did the depression today start? Around about lunch time.

I was joking around at work, by putting the next rank up from mine, on my shoulders, saying "Wow they look good on me", thats when my PO, (supervisor), said "Not for at least 5 yrs". And as most of you know I have been wanting to be promoted, had my heart set on it..... Well I guess I have finally worked it out.......... NEVER set my heart on anything, hopefully by not setting my heart on anything, it will not be broken so much......(LOL, I laugh coz I always believed I had a heart of stone).

You might be wondering what things have I been setting my heart on, well I will tell you.

*promotion
*travel, (go over to the gulf)
*nice things
*money
*own my own home (or 5)
*partner, just to name a few.

Sorry if I am bring you guys down but it is the way I am feeling ATM.

So what else is getting me down..... my weight, I have seem to hit a slow point, I will have up my training. How is the weight lost going? I hear u ask.......

Well since the last time I wrote on here, I have gotten down to 94.5ish, but have 2 weeks to get at least down to 90kgs, then I will be able to go to sea again. I have been told if the weight is off in two weeks, I could be going to sea for a couple of weeks just before Christmas, then in the new yr I will be put into my own galley by myself, so looking forward to that.

Ok guys....time for this little black to go to bed.

Night all,

Chat soon.